The Limitless Lawyer

In Memory of Michael Jackson: Permission to be...

It has taken me several days to process the sudden and unexpected death of pop star Michael Jackson. I knew instantly that I wanted to write something about what his life meant to me but didn't quite know where to begin.

Celebrity writers the world over will write about his life - his mistakes - his music - his dance - his unparalleled ability to entertain us.

Is Was MJ the greatest entertainer the world has ever known? Hell yeah...without question! And why? Well that's what I decided to write about.

PERMISSION

We - all of us- gave Michael permission to explore creative expression unbounded. We did that! We let him get on stage in high-water black trousers with thick white socks, a glittery glove, sequined military-inspired outfits and paid attention to his every move. And we were rewarded with every kick, scream, fluid gyration, finger-snap, hip flux, moonwalk and body-pop.

MJ, for me, suspended time. When I watched him, nothing else mattered but that moment. MJ taught me the power of now years before Eckhart Tolle wrote about it; before I began to meditate daily; before I stumbled happily upon the spiritual teachings of Allan Watts who said:

I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is.

It was in the present that I stood transfixed when Michael Jackson performed. I yearned for him to rock my world and he did just that. The man he was on stage dwarfed the man he was in every other aspect of his life. He was at home on the stage because we gave him permission to be.

Creative expression is that which gives our lives meaning. "To stifle creative expression is to bind and gag our very souls." - Curtis Verdun

Surely most will remember MJ for his ability to entertain with appropriate footnotes depicting his expressions of human frailty. And yes, I'll remember him that way as well. But in this moment what I most hope to cling to is his teachings.

Creative expression is risk-taking. Most of us desire it, but few achieve it. We care too much about how others might perceive us and yeah perhaps that is what keeps us grounded in reality but it also inhibits our transcendence.

Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (pronounced "CHICK-sent-me-high-ee") has spent more than 35 years researching flow, a state he describes as one of "[b]eing completely involved in an activity for its own sake. The ego falls away. Time flies. Every action, movement, and thought follows inevitably from the previous one, like playing jazz. Your whole being is involved, and you're using your skills to the utmost."

Michael Jackson flowed and he did that un-apologetically. I love him for that! So to honor his memory, I'm giving myself permission (and you too) to do the same. Your life doesn't have to be grand - it just needs to be lived to the fullest. And to live life to the fullest, you we have to express all that lies within us.

Thanks MJ for teaching me.

The #1 factor to happiness is...

WORK! Sonja Lyubomirsky, author of The How of Happiness, along with Ed Diener and Laura King, conducted a meta-analysis (a "study of studies") of 225 studies of well-being. She admits being surprised by the results.

This study revealed that work, more so than any other variable, including relationships, was both a cause and consequence of being happy.  Here are some excerpts:

"The evidence, for example, demonstrates that people who have jobs
distinguished by autonomy, meaning and variety - and who show superior
performance, creativity, and productivity - are significantly happier
than those who don't."

"Why does our work make us happy? Because it provides us a sense
of identity, structure to our days, and important and meaningful life
goals to pursue. Perhaps even more important, it furnishes us with
close colleagues, friends and even marriage partners."

"The more successful we are at our jobs, the higher income we make,
and the better work environment we have, the happier we will be.
This increased happiness will foster greater success, more money, and
an improved work environment, which will further enhance happiness,
and so on and so on and so on."

Read the article here:

Now back to work...

If you've enjoyed this article, please pass it on to your friends via email or your favorite social networking site. But, most importantly, tell the transitioning and former lawyers in your life to take a few minutes to share their wisdom via this survey.

The Lawyer Personality: Why we sometimes don't like ourselves

In 2006, Dr. Larry Richard (J.D./Ph.D.) of Hildebrandt International released a study that surmised research conducted since 1998. A cross-section of attorneys were given the Caliper Profile. In it, he revealed  The Lawyer Personality Profile. Here are the findings:

Skepticism - High scorers tend to be skeptical, even cynical, judgmental, questioning, argumentative and somewhat self-protective.
Lawyers: 90% vs General Public: 50%

Urgency - High scorers tend to be impatient, have a need to get things done and a sense of immediacy. Urgent people are sometimes brusque, poor listeners, and can be annoying to many people.
Lawyers: 71% vs General Public: 50%

Sociability - High scorers tend to desire to interact with people and feel a sense of comfort in initiating new, intimate connections with others.
Lawyers: 12.8% vs General Public: 50%

Resilience/Ego Strength - High scorers tend to bounce back from criticism or rejection, taking things less personally.
Lawyers: 30% (many scored in bottom 10th percentile) vs General Public: 50%

Autonomy - High scorers tend to resist being managed, to bridle at being told what to do and prize independence.
Lawyers: 89% vs General Public: 50%

Interestingly, Dr. Richards noted that the unexpected finding was that lawyers' personalities are very different from those of the general public; and, I would add, not in areas that engender likability.

He further writes that the average person tends to use his or her stronger personality traits across all situations. I have heard many men, especially, say that they would never date or marry a lawyer. Understandably, it is based on the correct assumption that the less desirable traits would transfer from work to home as well.

In general, one of the hurdles, in addition to explaining why you don't want to practice law or follow a traditional legal career path, is to confront the  assumptions of the general public about the lawyer personality.

For some of us, this may entail a candid assessment of others' perception of us (my bestfriend's nickname for me is "Emotions from a Law Book," which would be cute but for the possible sociopathic implications - I'm working on it!).

Still others may need to seek professional assistance, whether a career counselor or psychologist (I'm really serious) to address prevalent personality issues.

Most importantly, as you review the traits above and think to yourself, "Eww, I wouldn't want to work with people like that!" Well you may have just discovered, in addition to the long hours and tedious work, why you hate being a lawyer so much.

In 2002, Tal Ben-Shahar, Ph.D. began teaching a Positive Psychology seminar at Harvard. 8 students initially signed up. The following year, he offered a lecture. 380 students signed up.

In Chapter 7 of his book Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment, Dr. Shahar discusses happiness in the workplace.

He offers the following as specific questions we should begin to ask ourselves:
(1) Am I happy at work?
(2) How can I become happier?
(3) Can I leave my job and find something meaningful and pleasurable?
(4) If I cannot afford to leave or, for one reason or another, do not want to leave, what can I do to make my work more enjoyable?

There is an underlying skepticism (scroll up, re-read)) among lawyers that likely inhibits our belief that finding happiness at work, at home or in life is possible. The higher incidences of alcohol and drug dependency and depression confirm this.

As I've discussed here , stepping out of our comfort zone and, especially,  interacting with non-lawyers will enhance 1) our belief that happy and work can coexist; and 2) our desire to transition into a new career and find a little happiness for ourselves.